Two Weeks

The man leaned back in his uncomfortable desk chair, the friction between his posterior and the cushion making the uncomfortably mistakable noise that makes people look embarrassed as if to say, "Gee, dude... we're working in here, too..."

He stared at the computer screen. Scratching his unshaven chin, he mumbled, "Two weeks."

He shuffled, stretched his legs and looked again at the monitor. "Two weeks."

Indeed, it had been two weeks.

"What happened to my groove? I had such a good groove going."

Back in the day, he did have quite a groove. The man hammered out phrases and paragraphs filled with warmth and humor and a comedic style all his own. Now, one blog and several months later, his groove seems to have dried up.

Withered.

Gone.

Poof.

"Two weeks."

The man sat upright, correcting his posture. "I will blog again", he thought to himself.

Then he shot straight up from his chair.

"I WILL BLOG AGAIN!"

The office fell silent. The man had been thinking out loud - very out loud. In fact, he had been thinking aloud the entire time.

From over the cubicle he heard a couple of snickers, a mumbled, "Gee, dude..."

Then the boss came up behind him.

"Two weeks", the boss said. "Two weeks."

Now the man will have plenty of time to blog.

Yet Another "Horoscope"

Your Fake Horoscope for this week:

ARIES (March 21 - April 19)
Words to live by: It won't always mold if it gets too old. Clean out your refrigerator soon.

TAURUS (April 20 - May 20)
Today you will consume copious amounts of garlic, eggs and ripe cheese. Avoid elevators and closed spaces at all cost.

GEMINI (May 21 - June 21)
She isn't giving you a coy look. She's just gassy. Back off before she puts a restraining order against you.

CANCER (June 22 - July 22)
Remember your second-cousin Freddy, the one who moves from relative to relative with his 1954 Airstream motor coach, overly-regular pit bull Spike and no pooper-scooper? No? Well, he remembers you. Do not answer the door. Close the blinds. Lock the windows. Be very quiet: ever since that near-accident at the power plant he worked at, his hearing is quite acute.

LEO (July 23 - August 22)
You will be quite surprised to wake up and find Bob Dylan is still at your house. Your neighbor's second cousin has a 1954 Airstream motor coach he'll make you a good deal on. Comes with a dog, too.

VIRGO (August 23 - September 22)
Your luck will run out when you find yourself in a spitting match between Good Luck and Lady Luck.

LIBRA (September 23 - October 22)
Today is the day to realize your dream of becoming a Portable Toilet Leveling Engineer. After all, the only thing worse than using a port-a-pot is using one pitched at an angle. You will be the hero of construction workers and outdoor concert-goers worldwide.

SCORPIO (October 23 - November 21)
Your mother knows you have caller ID. Stop avoiding her calls.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 - December 21)
This is the day to stop that excursion to Karbers Ridge, Illinois, that you keep talking about. Go to Higbee, Missouri, instead.

CAPRICORN (December 22 - January 19)
Yes, you can sue the Kool Aid people. It was irresponsible for that big pitcher of sugary water to come crashing through your wall, no matter how refreshing his contents might be.

AQUARIUS (January 20 - February 18)
The moon is in Pisces and it is high tide for your water sign. This is utter nonsense.

PISCES (February 19 - March 20)
Carpe Hypsiprymnodon: Seize the Musk Kangaroo. If he gets in the crawl space under your house, you'll never get him out - at least not without a fight.

Here Come The Sun King

Happy Birthday to Louis XIV, 17th century king of France. Had he not succumbed to gangrene on 1 September, 1715, he would be 367 years old today. Too bad he missed being mentioned in song by The Beatles and - far less regally - Bow Wow Wow.

Notebooks and Words

I love notebooks. I cannot explain it... I have a ton of them, and each is half filled at the most.

Each notebook is different. Some are for personal reflections and thoughts. Some are filled with Bible verses I find uplifting and inspiring. Many have writing ideas - ideas for books, stories, etc... Some have letters never sent. Some are still blank.

I juggle all these notebooks to try to keep the inspiration flowing for all these differing interests.
I recently started two new notebooks, both nice and hardbound. One is "What I Learned Today". Everyday has at least one lesson. I need to jot them down.

The other is ideas and words - off-the-wall words, title ideas, whatever tickles my brain at the time.

So, let me share a couple of obscure words with you, and I will attempt to use them in a sentence.

abderian: prone to continual, asinine laughing.
accipitrine: one who has nose like a hawk's beak
accubation: eating and/or drinking in a lying down position

Tommy's accubationary manner of eating tomato soup brought out Susie's abderian tendencies, causing Tommy to spray soup out his accipitrine nose.

There's a visual for ya!

This Week's Word in Dutch

Prepare to get just a little smarter - or at least appear so. Here is this week's word in Dutch:

milt: spleen.

Used in a sentence: "Ik houd niet van de smaak van milt." I do not like the taste of spleen.

There. Don't you feel smarter?

Eschatology 101

I've been a theology student for six years now. I've read Revelation, and studied what Jesus had to say about the end times. However, I do not believe this is one of the signs...