No Wonder I Love the Nightlife!

I've known for quite some time now that something wasn't right. I could feel it - I mean deep down feel it. The sensation - a tingle, if you will - would begin in my legs, or my spine, and spread throughout my nervous system and into my arms. It's usually worse when music is playing. Still, I could never figure out the cause of this odd sensation.

Until today.

This morning, I had to stop at the local Megamart to stock up on some supplies. As I was pushing my wobbly cart up the critter care aisle (they had one whale of a deal on salt licks, 3 for $10), I heard a song blasting through the PA system that I hadn't heard in years.

And then... I felt it. The tingle. The itch. The need to move - indeed to groove. My legs were beginning to buckle and sway. My fingers were snapping and popping uncontrollably. It was as if my nerves were suddenly and inexplicably under an influence that was not my own. I couldn't control my feet as they danced around the cart, causing me to knock over several bags of Monkey Chow.

When I heard the words to the song that was playing, it clicked. Ah-ha! It was coming together. I knew what the problem was - at last.

I got the Boogie Fever.

Evidently, the most prevalent symptom of the Boogie Fever is an uncontrollable urge to boogie on down. Another thing I learned: the Boogie Fever outbreak is an epidemic - dare I say a pandemic. How do I know this? The song clearly states it: EVERYBODY got the Boogie Fever.

I wonder if the people at the CDC know about this.

There is no known cure for the Boogie Fever. There aren't even treatments available to relieve it's Kung-Fu grip on those this wretched disorder infects. I guess I have no choice: I'm just gonna have to boogie oogie oogie till I just can't boogie no more.