Friday, April 21, 2006

Happy Birthday, Your Majesty!



Today we wish Queen Elizabeth II a most royally Happy 8oth Birthday!

I honor of this special occasion, we here at Jumbled Encephalon Noodle Salad would like to suggest the following musical playlist, for your portable MP3 player, computer or turntable at home:

God Save the Queen - Madness - yes, the band that brought us "Our House", "One Step Beyond...", "It Must Be Love" and "Night Boat To Cairo". This track is available on The Business, their UK-only singles box set. You haven't heard the British National Anthem until you've heard Madness play it live.

On kazoos.

Dizzy Miss Lizzy - The Beatles - a cover of the Larry Williams song, from their 1965 LP Help! Quick Fab trivia: "Dizzy Miss Lizzy" marks the last time a cover version of someone else's song appeared on an original Beatles album. Every track on every album that followed (from Rubber Soul to Let It Be) was penned by Lennon / McCartney, George Harrison and / or Ringo Starr (under his real name, Richard Starkey).

Speaking of Ringo...

Elizabeth Reigns - Ringo Starr - from his Ringo Rama CD, one of his best in years. Evidently Mr. Starkey isn't a monarchist.

God Save The Queen - The Sex Pistols - These guys aren't monarchists, either. In fact, based on their first infamous single ("Anarchy For The UK"), they were anarchists. I do not share their views, or their angst. As a matter of fact, I struggled with including this on the list. However, compared to other Pistols tracks I heard when I was in my teens (and especially some of the hard-edged noise passing for music these days), this is pretty tame stuff. I quit listening to these guys years ago.

Killer Queen - Queen - from their third album, Sheer Heart Attack, this is the song that put Queen on the charts.

Queen of my Double-Wide Trailer - Sammy Kershaw - No commentary necessary.

I'm Henry The VIIIth, I Am - Herman's Hermits - Ditto

Down In The Cockpit - XTC - Win back that castle, Andy!

Castles Made of Sand - the Jimi Hendrix Experience - Added considering the discussion of the role (and future) of the British monarchy in recent years.

Her Majesty - The Beatles - If you have the Abbey Road CD and the ability to mix things up a bit, try reconstructing the medley of the songs on side two to their original unreleased configuration. When The Beatles, George Martin and Geoff Emerick originally assembled the Abbey Road medley, "Her Majesty" fit between "Mean Mr. Mustard" and "Polythene Pam". In fact, the opening chord you hear on "Her Majesty" is actually the last note of "Mr. Mustard" because, when they decided "Her Majesty" just didn't flow, they simply clipped that portion out of the master tape. It supposedly ended up at the end of Abbey Road on accident (a point proven by the fact that the song isn't listed on the sleeve or label of the first pressings of Abbey Road).

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Jumbled Encephalon Word To Amaze Your Friends With

edentulous (e-dent-u-lus): having no teeth.
Years of a steady diet of jawbreakers and sugared drinks had left Johnny's mouth in an edentulous state.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Today's Trip To Cheapo's

I haven't been there in several weeks, perhaps a couple of months. My wife and I are working hard to save our extra money (after all, we have a trip to China to bring home our daughter in about a year), so spending money on frivilous entertainment is ausschließlich verboten.

But, this morning - after receiving my beautiful wife's blessing - I enjoyed a Saturday morning trip that used to be a weekly outing.

I drove down to Uptown, to hit my favorite record shop: Cheapo's.

Arriving a bit early, I spent a few minutes driving around and soaking in Uptown. I love this neighborhood. Even at 8:30 on a Saturday morning, Uptown has a vibe about it. Exit I-94 near the tunnel and climb up Lowry Hill, and my heart begins to race. The morning was warm, the car windows down, my music flowing along with the road.

I love the rustic apartment buildings, the plethora of ethnic restaurants and the wonderful independent book sellers. I always take note of what's showing at the Uptown Theatre. Not that I've ever been there. It's just that they tend to screen offbeat films. (Not this week, though: they're showing the new Jennifer Aniston film Friends With Money.)

The people in Uptown fascinate me. I notice a man walking up Lake Street, very slow and steady, concentrating on a hot cup of Dunn Brothers java tightly gripped in his clutch. He is walking so gently that his upper torso doesn't move - not even trace of sway or swagger, just very very stiff and slow.

He must have had a rough night.

At the stoplight, a young lady on a bicycle rides up to my right, standing way too close to my car. She must have been listening to my tunes (David Bowie "Ashes To Ashes" at this particular moment - I like to think of myself as retro chic, while deep down knowing I'm really retro stuck).

Finally, 9:00. Cheapo's is open. I park the car, feed the meter, remind myself of my spending limit ($20) and enter.

What did I come home with? Let me share...

Tim Hughes Here I Am To Worship (Survivor, 2001)
Beautiful worship music. Perfect for time between you and God.

The In-Laws (original motion picture soundtrack) (Bulletproof / WSM, 2003)
A must for Paul McCartney fans. A great soundtrack with fun, wonderful songs by Badfinger, ELO, Elvis Presley, Ella Fitgerald (doing a fantastic of version of Cream's "Sunshine of Your Love", with a horn section replicating Eric Clapton's original guitar parts)... I bought it mainly for two of the three McCartney tracks, which are available nowhere else: "A Love For You" (an outtake from his 1971 Ram album, with 1979 Wings overdubs) and an unreleased version of "Live and Let Die".

Cocteau Twins Evangeline EP (Fontana, 1993) (UK import)
Part of the 4AD stable of artists, I first heard Cocteau Twins back in the mid 1980's on WISU in Terre Haute IN. Elizabeth Fraser's etherial vocals must have been the inspiration for Enya. Gorgeious music. Worth the 95c I spent for "Mud and Dark" alone.

The Cure Friday I'm In Love EP (Elektra, 1992)
I love singles - always have. I'm a sucker for them. Why? Two reasons: 1) they're cheap, and 2) they often have unique 'B'-sides that can't be found anywhere else (that is, until the record label puts together a "rarities and flip sides" collection).

Often singles feature demos or outtakes or cover versions. The Pretenders had several fabulous flipsides ("In The Sticks", "Nervous But Shy", "Swinging London", "Cuban Slide", "My City Was Gone" [you know, Rush Limbaugh's theme song], an incredibly faithful cover of The Beatles' "Not A Second Time"). REM are another band known for incredible flipsides (far too numerous to mention - just check out the Dead Letter Office or In Time (disc 2) compilations, or almost any of their singles).

The Cure were among the best at great 'B'-sides. The first Cure albums I bought were both singles compilations: Japanese Whispers (which featured both sides of the singles "Let's Go To Bed" and "The Love Cats", as well as the entire EP The Walk), and the cassette version of Standing On A Beach: The Singles, which had all of their single 'A'-sides (up to 1986) on side one, and the corresponding 'B'-sides on side two.

These compilations also mark the point where The Cure stepped over the line from underground band to pop superstardom. The albums after this were not nearly as good. However, "Friday I'm In Love", while no artistic heavyweight, is sticky pop for the ears. I bought this for "Halo", one of the non-album tracks on this CD, is just as engaging as the hit track, with fine jangly guitars.

Eight Miles High: 19 Tracks Inspired By The Byrds (various artists) (Uncut Magazine, 2003)
Speaking of jangly guitars... Roger McGuinn had quite an influence on a lot of my favorites musicians / bands (The Beatles, The Pretenders, REM, Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers, etc...) This collection features a lot of indie bands playing Byrds covers and songs that sound like they could be Byrds covers. Includes The Replacements' "Sixteen Blue" (which I think my brother would like), and - for reasons I cannot understand - a rare live version of "Don't Fear The Reaper" by Blue Oyster Cult, a recording that bears no relationship to The Byrds, performed by a band that is most decidedly NOT indie.

However, it includes "The Little Black Egg" by The Nightcrawlers, which more than makes up for the BOC faux paux.

(And, while we're on the subject of jangly guitars: hey, Matt - I grabbed a couple of REM CDs for you: Document and Up. Document is classic; Up will grow on you, if you let it.)

Duran Duran Seven and the Ragged Tiger (Capitol, 1983)
Sometimes nostalgia overcomes taste. One lesson I have learned in life: music from my youth usually seemed much much better then than it really was. I can remember being in high school when this album came out, and being far too excited over it. My friend Joe (who introduced me to Van Halen and AC/DC) hated it. (He hated every tape I owned; his tastes were far harder than mine). I can't believe I just bought it. I also can't believe I bought into the whole bit about it being an obscure concept album when I was a kid (as a grown man, I now find it to be obtuse). Of course, I recently admitted to still owning a couple of Adam & The Ants CDs, so I have very little self-respect left.

This CD also makes me think of another old friend, Keith. While I do not know his feelings on this particular Duran2 disc, I seem to remember him liking side two of their eponymous debut album - the "artsy" side with songs like "Tel Aviv" and "(Waiting for the) Night Boat" as opposed to the hits ("Girls On Film" and "Planet Earth", which open side one).

I used to be proud of the fact that I was a first generation MTV fanatic. I watched mesmerized back when all they showed were these English new wave bands. MTV is where I discovered David Bowie's Eno-era work, Talking Heads, Genesis and loads of fine musicians I still listen to all these years later. However, this is also where I got hip to the aforementioned "Antmusic", Duran Duran, and lots of other now-awfully-dated technopop groups with three-storey high feathered mullets (although, oddly enough, I was never real big on A Flock of Seagulls). I used to be really quite pleased that I was listening to Duran Duran before they hit it big with Rio and U2 before War.

That pride has mellowed considerably with age. (Except for U2. I'll still crow about that one. Makes me look cool to be hip to pre-"Sunday Bloody Sunday" Bono.)

Speaking of Bono...

U2 Last Night On Earth EP (Island, 1997).
Remember what I said about single flipsides? Here are U2's cover versions of M's 1980 hit "Pop Muzik" (in fact, U2 sample quite liberally from the M original, to the point that one questions how much U2 there is on this recording) and The Beatles' "Happiness Is A Warm Gun", as well as a dub version of "Numb". Marginal stuff.

Billy Joel Piano Man (Columbia, 1973)
I joke to people that I know I'm getting older, because I like Billy Joel more and more. This stuff isn't bad. Pure pop for middle aged people.

All that for a few cents more than $18. I had enough left over for a Coke Zero.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

The Telephone Game (or How Rumors Get Started)

"The Courtney's are flying to China next year to adopt a little girl. Chris was joking around about naming their baby Eunice. They're really going to name her Lily."

"The Courtney's are flying to China. Can you believe Chris wanted to name their baby Eunice? Good thing Jennie insisted on naming her Lily!"

"Chris and Jennie are adopting two babies from China. They're naming them Eunice and Lily."

"Chris and Jennie are flying to Venus to buy China from someone named Lily."

"The Courtney's are moving to China to raise Lilies. And something about Venus."

"Chris works for NASA as part of Project Venus. They're growing lilies in space. Jennie designs china now."

"Chris sells Chinet plates for a living. Sounds like Jennie designed a lily pattern for them. The astronauts are going to use them on the space station."

"A tectonic plate in China shifted. The ground opened wide at the fault line and a bunch of lilies fell into the crevice. Chris and Jennie saw the whole thing when they went over to adopt Billy."

"The planet Venus has been ripped from it's solar orbit and is hurtling toward earth. I hear it will strike near China. I hope Chris, Benny and Billy are okay."

"Gasoline is going to drop to around $1.49 a gallon this summer."

OK, now we're just getting ridiculous.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Ah, Spring... A Factual Haiku

Ah, Spring...

The days growing longer...

The lawns turning greener...

The wildflowers blooming colorful...

The red-winged blackbirds returning...

The eastward breezes blowing warm...

The car windows rolled down...

The seven year old kid in the minivan two lanes across hanging out the window yelling, "Hey, dude! I got diarrhea!"

Ah, Spring...

Georgia's Bacon...


Before


After

This is, by far, the tastiest, most delicious bacon I have ever eaten! Thank you again so so much, Georgia!!

Your Fake Horoscope for This Week

Your Fake Horoscope for this week:

ARIES (March 21 - April 19)
Beware of the guy who keeps calling you claiming to be a financial advisor. While he may not be lying about getting you a good deal on some Enron stock, I would think twice about that $240,000 mortgage at $14.99 per month.

TAURUS (April 20 - May 20)
Jamaica is calling. Collect.

Refuse the charges.

GEMINI (May 21 - June 21)
Remember that time you had a very embarrassing gastrointestinal episode in the office? Remember how you blamed it on Wally, the poor gullible guy two cubicles down who reeks of Old Spice and hasn't had a date since Laverne & Shirley first aired? Remember how everybody called him Air Horn Wally on a daily basis for six straight months? Remember how Sally down in accounting walked around handing out respirator masks to everybody as a joke? Remember how everyone chipped in to buy him a big case of matches for his birthday? Remember how he finally heard so much about his alleged flatulence that he actually began believing it is he who had dealt it? He will remember the truth when he visits a hypnotist this week. Maybe you should offer to pay for his counseling sessions.

CANCER (June 22 - July 22)
Lovely to look at,
Sticky to hold,
It isn't a "Microfern",
Just a rock with some mold.

Throw it away.

LEO (July 23 - August 22)
Today you will discover the reason for all the trouble you have at airport security. Begin the process to change your last name from Schubaumer. (Say it quietly to yourself... you'll get the joke.)

VIRGO (August 23 - September 22)
Diamonds are not your girl's best friend. Her name is Karen. And you were hitting on her at the company party last night. Lay off the Mai Tai's.

LIBRA (September 23 - October 22)
Southern California will finally fall off into the Pacific Ocean this week. Not from any natural disaster, but the sheer weight of the Hollywood ego concentrated in one area. Tom Cruise jumping up and down on some talk show host's couch didn't help stabilize things.

SCORPIO (October 23 - November 21)
Your mother called. She wishes you would come reclaim all those Tavares eight-track tapes you left behind when you moved out in 1979. She stiill has your magic eight-ball, too.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 - December 21)
Oskaloosa Swamp, South Carolina. Loud Schooly D rap track. Sherriff's car. "You look just like Ned Beatty." Remember these things. And stay off highway 144 southbound. Trust us.

CAPRICORN (December 22 - January 19)
Tonight, Mars will pass very near Aquarius, slipping between Cygnus and Leo Minor. However, he won't be anywhere near Wal-Mart. You'll have to go pick up your own toilet paper.

AQUARIUS (January 20 - February 18)
Tonight is not the night to find true love. Should you meet the man of your dreams, have a background check run on them. And, despite what he says or how suave he comes across, he is not Neil Young.

PISCES (February 19 - March 20)
The Braunschweiger and Cole Slaw Diet isn't working. Time to start eating some other, less invasive foods. And quit blaming Wally for your episodes of gastric distress.

Quote of the Day

"Writing is easy. All you do is stare at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead." - Gene Fowler

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Cre-Laz-Tivity

When I set out to create this blog, I had in mind a cyberplace of personal creative expression. I thought I would write more openly, create more vividly...

Instead, I find myself musing a lot on food and drawing up lists about Indiana. It's all I can do to resist plotting out the top ten greasy meats Hoosiers render gravy from (#1: pork sausage - or is it pot roast?).

I have plastered the walls of my blog with more album covers than I had tacked up in my bedroom when I was thirteen.

So... what's the problem? Cre-laz-tivity, that's the problem. I have become creatively lazy. I have fallen back on the easy and haven't stretched my creative muscles enough.

What's the solution? I dunno. I like to think if I hang out at the local tres trendy coffee shop with my laptop, sipping a mochalattechino (with a choco-coated coffee bean seated proudly atop the lid) and looking suburbanite cool (huh?), then my muse will be unleashed and the catchiest, most mind-grasping prose will flow from my fingertips.

Or, I could just lie here in bed, listening to my beautiful wife snore, and wishing the umpteenth rerun of Everybody Loves Raymond hadn't been pre-empted by a baseball game.

Maybe I just found the root of my cre-laz-tivity problem. It's all Ray Romano's fault.

By the way, here's a list of the top ten reasons biscuits and gravy are better in Indiana than anywhere else...

OK - I'm just kidding. About the list, that is. I never kid about biscuits and gravy.

Too Good For Breakfast (or Thank You, Georgia!)

Bless her heart! Georgia - of Jeanne and Georgia's World Famous Farm-Fresh Eggs - has sent us a package of fresh - yes, fresh - bacon, from one of her very own pigs. We will not waste these precious strips of smoked pork on breakfast.

This is dinner bacon.

And we will be trying it tomorrow night.

Photos later.

Thank you so very much for the bacon, Georgia!!

Remember... Jeanne and Georgia's Farm Fresh Eggs. Since 1682 - If You Settle For Any Other Eggs, The Yolk's On You!

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Homesick Hoosier Blues

Someone commented the other day, after reading my blog entries "The Great Escape" and "Indiana Towns Revisited", "In one post you say bad things about Indiana, and in the other, you say good things! Which is it??" The truth is I like Indiana. I miss a lot of things about Indiana. On occasion, I get homesick for Indiana.

When I feel those old Homesick Hoosier Blues creeping up, I hit the Internet and check out WISH-TV's downtown Indianapolis webcam. Or, I go to the Indianapolis Zoo's webcam page. Seeing a "live" picture from back home (well... relatively live, at least no more than a few minutes old), somehow helps me feel connected again.

Of course, Indianapolis isn't the only city skyline one can view live on the Internet. You can check out Chicago (via WGN-TV). Or New Orleans. Or Seattle. Or Albuquerque. Or Boston. Or even Rochester, Minnesota!

For my sister-in-law, here's Mount Washington, New Hampshire.

For all of you Elvis fans, check out Graceland.

International travelers can check out London, Adelaide, Paris, or Winnipeg.

If you want to feel like an international traveler without leaving the United States, check out Anchorage, Alaska or Honolulu, Hawaii.

So go travel the world without ever leaving your computer! Or course, it's better to actually go there...

You've Got Zabar's!

When one first lays eyes on me, they may easily form the following opinion: "This is a man who appreciates good groceries."

It's Saturday night, and my beautiful wife and I are sitting at home with the cats, enjoying You've Got Mail for the umpteenth time (this is our second copy - we wore out the first videotape we bought).

In the film, there is a short scene that takes place in a grocery store named Zabar's. Whilst sitting here with the laptop on, I decided to check out the website for this food retailer.

Wow.

They sell over 7 tons - 14,000 pounds - 6350 kilograms - of cheese per week. Over 600 varieties of fromage!

They hand select their smoked fish and are known for their caviar.

They also hand select and roast their own coffee.

And, they feature "the largest selection of imported cooper cookware anywhere"!

Check out their website, take a video tour of the store, and read about Louis Zabar and his over-80 year old business.

If I ever make it to New York City, I have five things I want to see:
1) The World Trade Center Memorial / Site
2) The Statue of Liberty
3) The Dakota
4) The Ed Sullivan Theatre (to attend a taping of Late Night with David Letterman)
5) Zabar's

If any of you have ever visited Zabar's, tell me about it!

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Indiana Towns Revisited

For those of you who are so into this blog that you memorize each and every entry (who??), you may recall my post on this site from 10 August 2005, "Indiana Towns". Today, I am repeating the exercise with another list of colorful names for Hoosier towns. However, where the August entry was just for fun, this time there is a purpose for doing this (which will, more than likely, manifest itself in some future blog entry).

Do me a favor... let me know your favorites. Leave a comment or e-mail me.

I love small, quaint Indiana towns. Perhaps someday I'll develop a shortlist and road trip a bunch of these towns.

Here goes...

Mongo
South Center (Which is it? Southern or central?)
Bippus
Plevna
Goblesville
Corunna
Banquo
Bennett's Switch
Deputy
Wirt
Speed
Magnet
Plum Tree
Nabb
Paragon (as in "ideal")
Solitude
Philomath
Clunette
Lodi (I have actually been here, and it brings new depth to the Creedence Clearwater Revival song)
Buckskin
Plainville

For those who are curious, here is the list from August '05:
Maxinkuckee
Zulu (because Indiana is famous for its Zulu population)
Tunker
Southwest (a town in far north-central Indiana)
Central (a town in far southern Indiana)
Center (in northern Indiana)
Advance
Oolitic (fun to pronounce)
Gnaw Bone
Story
Lake Bruce
Bruce Lake (a town about 3 miles from Lake Bruce. By the way, my map shows no body of water named either "Bruce Lake" or "Lake Bruce")Toto
Otis
Enos
Exchange
Economy
Daylight
Santa Claus
Spraytown
Ijamsville
Alamo (a place to always remember)
Roll
Friendship
Peppertown
Needmore
Acme
Petroleum
Domestic
Universal
China
Mexico
Poland.
Norway
Angola
Peru
Ceylon
Lebanon
Siberia
Nebraska
Maryland
Moscow
Manilla
Geneva
London
Versailles
Brooklyn
St. Paul
Atlanta
Dublin
Rome City
Austin
Topeka
Santa Fe
Denver
Chili
Bono (amazingly, there are two Bono, Indianas)
Mace
Nulltown
Pinola
Farmers
Farmers Retreat
Pleasant
Prince's Lake (the one with the purple water)
Raccoon
Salamonia
Phlox
Cuzco
Churubusco

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Mixing It Up

Deep down, I always wanted to be a DJ. I love spinning discs and playing tunes, and cannot drive across town without some decent songs to listen to.

I'm preparing for a nice, long road trip, which means I now have an excuse to dig in my music collection and assemble some mix tapes to help the miles - and hours - roll by a bit quicker.

I want to assemble about ten hours worth of traveling tunes. Anyone got any thematic ideas? What do you like to listen to? Please share!! E-mail me your fave travel music / artists / albums / songs at ccwriterhoosier@yahoo.com, or leave a comment by clicking on the word COMMENTS below. Also, feel free to e-mail this (or any other) post to friends, family and loved ones by clicking on the envelope beside the word "COMMENTS" below.

Recipe: Thai Beef Stew

2 lbs. beef stew meat (or any cut of beef, cubed or sliced)
1 stick of butter
chili oil to taste
one onion, chopped coarse
8 oz. frozen broccoli
8 oz. frozen "California mix" vegetables
1 can black beans
3 tbsp. chili paste
4 oz. Hoisin sauce
Soy sauce to taste
1 can coconut milk
1 pkg. Ramen noodles

In a hot skillet, melt the butter and chili oil. Brown beef thoroughly in butter / chili oil mixture. Add chopped onions.

While beef is browning, thaw all the frozen veggies and drain off excess water. Add veggies, as well as black beans, to browned beef. Add chili paste, Hoisin sauce and soy sauce. Stir and heat thoroughly.

While the ingredients all cook together, in a separate pot, boil one package of Ramen noodles.

Whie the noodles boil, add one can of coconut milk to the stew mixture. Stir and simmer.

Serve by placing some Ramen noodles in the bottom of each bowl, and ladle stew on top.

Mmmmmmmm!!

(For the truly brave, throw in some sliced, fresh hot peppers when you add your onion)