As I was driving along Highway 100, I had an idea for a book: The Big Book of What I Believe. Yes, I know... it sounds like quite a narcissistic idea, especially for somebody going into ministry. However, I believe I can pull off penning this tome without being overly (overtly) self indulgent.
For example: I believe if one is going to deface a poster with fake signatures of famous people, one should be able to spell the names of the those whose signatures they are forging. This is especially true if said poster hangs in a bookstore, regardless of the fact that the poster was in the men's room.
The poster - a black-and-white art print of a western skyline - was "signed" by the one-and-only Richard R. Nixon. I can only assume this must be some distant cousin of former president Richard M. Nixon. Next to Tricky Dick's autograph was the signature of one "Bill Shakespeer" (sp). "Al Einstein" left his mark as well.
Wile E. Coyote placed his autograph on the print, as did all four Beatles - but only by their first names. (After all, if you don't know them simply as John, Paul, George and Ringo, then you've probably been holed up in a cave since at least the Eisenhower administration). Strangely enough, all of the Fab Four have amazingly identical penmanship. I guess they must have all attended the same grade school.
On the right-hand side of the poster, a portion about 3"x3" square was ripped from the poster. Immediately beneath it were the scribbled words "...and Clinton let it happen!" Evidently, hand-written GOP rhetoric grafitti is unwelcome. My guess is the scribe was Richard R. Nixon, and the offended paper-tearing water closet user was no fan of the faux former prez.
I have the distinct feeling that these autographs are not real. I believe they are forgeries. What gave it away? Richard R. Nixon would never share a poster with Edward Van Halen. Or Wile E. Coyote.
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